August, 2019

I have had many personal experiences with how the body highlights the distortions of our true essence or blueprint. Many of them began when I was very young. And I have been aware of these distortions most of my life. It wasn’t until I encountered frequency work that I realized the root of many of my physical issues. The primary experience I have had in my life is low back instability and pain. This started when I was around eight years old. I unconsciously held much of the family grief and depression. Not only from the known relatives in this lifetime but the entire lineage for both of my parents. For me this all settled into my low back and gave me regular reminders throughout my life that I was not operating at my highest potential. There were several incidents along the way where the instability and pain forced me to crawl around unable to walk. Somehow my blueprint would push through and I would come back into stability many times by sheer willpower alone. I’ve always had a bit of a hyperactive streak. My constant need to be physical was twofold. It kept me moving but it also kept me avoiding. It wasn’t until my mid thirties when my back said ‘enough is enough’. I had a demanding career, pushed my body as hard as I could athletically, and did not support it with healthy foods. It was the perfect storm that led to two lumbar disc herniations and five years of rehab.

It was what I needed to wake the f@#k up! I had no idea how to approach myself. After wondering around in the dark, sometimes on my hands and knees, through bittersweet relationships that showed me my distortions over and over again, something clicked and I moved onto to my own internal guidance system. When I first encountered my internal GPS, it was a mess! It was like walking into some spaceship engine room with wires hanging out of structures that I had little or no understanding of. In other words, it all looked foreign to me. Not even the basic physics seemed to apply here. But I started to trust it to let me know how it worked. As I spent more time in the engine room, I was guided to where I needed to pay attention and understand better, then eventually fix all together. There are literally patterns I thought that I had to deal with or was saddled with my whole life. Turns out neither of those is true. Anything and everything I thought I knew about myself had to go. I could not keep something that I liked and trash what I didn’t. It ALL had to go. Once I experienced this space, I knew how things worked for me. I knew I had to be open, available and fearless around things leaving and the right things staying. And many times, I’ve complained, asked someone else if I’m doing it right or just felt like giving up. But time and time again, I come back to that knowing; that space of open availability and fearlessness around loss, pain, or whatever else the mind can conjure up. I know that I may experience pain from time to time but it is not in vain, nothing is in vain. Everything has a purpose and nothing has any meaning. I guess what I’ve realized is we are our own biggest healers, most loyal fans, deepest compassionate offering. I think that’s why I’ve always liked the Hopi Elder Prayer, “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for”.

July, 2019

The past month has been a game changer for me. In one of my meditations I heard, “The healthy masculine (whole and complete and present) commands presence and the healthy feminine surrenders to that presence.” This is completely aside from gender. One of the easier ways to think about this is in one body/person. So, if you are whole and complete and surrender to presence, your relationship with you is pretty damn stellar. However, if you feel like you can’t trust yourself, the things you want/desire won’t ever happen, it’s all your partner’s fault, etc., then it’s highly likely your relationship with yourself is somehow incomplete. And there is a state of completion that you can reach where you transect the daily life duties with creation, expansion, manifestation at the highest possible level. I experience this as moving with life. I’m not talking myself through some process about how I reacted here, or what I said there, blah, blah. I’m in a state where things are offered to me. The best pathway for treatment, the best words to speak, etc. Basically, my life becomes a series of moments strung together into minutes then hours all the while, I’m just tuning into what is needed next. Occasionally, I might have an idea that I would like to implement or I notice a place in my life where I can test the information presented above about the healthy masculine/healthy feminine on myself. That’s kinda fun for me because I get deeper understandings of concepts. But overall, it’s just tuning into what is being offered. I’m not saying this is the secret to life. It’s just how I live. And what I am practicing now is the surrender to how I live, how I enjoy this one precious life. Surrendering to the faith that I am whole and complete with how I live my life (even when I’m confused, afraid, angry, pessimistic). This feels like my true balance. My practice is transitioning into assisting other people find what and where is truly balancing for them. And the body is a wonderful place to start and monitor progress.

May, 2019

I’ve mostly experienced Discipline as a punitive thing. From learning instruments/sports at a young age to diet/exercise/education as an adult, Discipline has been something that has felt harsh and punishing. I’m learning to see Discipline differently now. It has really shifted my view to hear how Mas Sajady defines Discipline. Ultimately, he says that Discipline is the willingness to consistently and continually be in your body and move forward from that place. For many people, being in the body is a challenging proposition. The reasons vary but most often the stumbling block is the “how” of being in the body. Occupying the body can be as simple as taking in a breath and noticing where it goes. Also, noticing what you are sitting/standing on and the distance of objects next to you. This forces you to place yourself in your body in order to note where you are from where the object is. Even though this seems like a simple task, which it is, maintaining it is what requires Discipline. This blends nicely with what I say at the conclusion of most sessions. Most of the time, I can help you to feel better but maintaining the function and lack of pain in the body largely depends on what you do when you are outside of my office. This is where Discipline is so important. It is literally the effort to notice where we are most of the time. For me this feels like more of an opportunity, although not always easy, to be with myself fully rather than a punitive task.

April, 2019

Spring cleaning has taken on a whole new depth this month. As I sat down to write last month’s post, I found that I encountered some resistance to writing. Soon I was completely consumed by the layers of clearing out of old patterns that I found were active in me. This internal cleansing has heightened my skills at seeing and offering clarity to my clients regarding their ancestral patterns that show up in the body. The past two months been incredibly illuminating regarding the connections of the body as an indicator system of what we hold from our DNA patterning. Our efficiency with cleaning up issues that have given us grief in the past is partially dependent on our present awareness. These times we are in truly are revolutionary on many levels. Because my focus is body centered, I’m increasingly interested in the trends I see in my practice with how we hold, release and bring in our truer expressions as individuals. As I’ve stated time and time again, these bodies that we all occupy are genius machines. There is wisdom, grace and perseverance just waiting to be tapped into. I am very excited to watch the evolution of our collective awareness and happy to share what I’ve noticed.

February, 2019

This past month has been a whopper! Those of you who work with me regularly know that I tend to bring in the emotional aspects of how the body functions along with family/ancestral history to aid in healing. By no fault of our own or anyone else, we can be running familial, ancestral and even collective patterns that we have agreed to at points along the way without even knowing it. This month I’ve seen a lot of that. Not only in my clients but also in myself. It’s a total mental trip to realize you are doing something out of a patterned habit and the moment that pattern is released the body functions differently. Some of these patterns can be really helpful along life’s journey and some not so helpful but the general feedback I’m getting from my body and the bodies of people that I treat is it is very important to operate from your own operating system rather than that of someone else. The tricky thing with patterns and habits, as most of us have experienced, is that when they are not running there is a place where the mind looks for it again trying to reactivate it. That is the beauty of P-DTR® (Proprioceptive Deep Tendon Reflex) combined with family/ancestral pattern recognition, once the pattern is released with your absolute agreement and confirmation, your mind can’t find it and is a bit disoriented. The disorientation can last from a few minutes, to few hours, or even a few days. It really depends on how tolerant and easy going we can be with ourselves while we are creating new, healthy, truer to ourselves patterns. I feel like I’ve learned more this month than I have in years in many ways. And as I always say, the body never ceases to amaze me!

January, 2019

As I mentioned last month, January has gone into full throttle paradigm shifting around how our bodies function. I have had several clients and friends share their experiences of implementation of the Keto diet lately. Not to mention, it has made the news feed with the Jillian Michaels debate. What I have noticed in trying out the diet myself is that there is no “perfect” version of the diet. It, like most things in life, has to be tweaked and dialed in for you as the individual. And often times, just when I think I’ve got a handle on what my body likes and how it functions best, I need to tweak it even more. Much of the focus of the Keto diet is on weight loss (that is only one benefit, there are tons more) however I really resonate with Dr. Eric Berg’s tagline which is get healthy first and eat in a way that supports that health. What he means by that is, if you have a lot of stressors in your life like toxic people, overwhelm at work, or simply navigating life itself, nothing is really going to work well unless that element of your life is simultaneously addressed in some fashion. Our bodies are the wisdom keepers of how we are feeling and functioning. They hold volumes of information of what is happening both in our individual experiences and the collective experience. I’m not suggesting or offering advice here, just giving a plug for the miraculous form that we all get to inhabit while on planet earth. And often times, just a little gentle focused attention on our bodies in one way or another can make a huge difference on how we feel and function.

December, 2018

There seem to be themes that run through my practice on a regular basis. This past month the theme has been “if you have been ignoring something in the body for awhile, it’s not going to let up until you address it”. Even my clients who actively care for their bodies through diet, exercise, down time and self-care are reporting nagging body pains or more serious body issues/injuries this month. What this says to me is that we are all in a stage of upleveling our awareness around our bodies and their way of communicating to us. I see this as a way our bodies are actually evolving with the times that we are living in. For me it has been my jaw. I notice I hold it more, clinch more, forget all together to let it relax literally until my neck starts to hurt. And the jaw is so indicative of many systems in the body. Its more obvious functions like chewing, talking, swallowing can shift with dysfunction but the less obvious impacts are pelvic obliquity, headaches, dizziness, teeth discomfort, and even instability in the ankles. These all can stem from the jaw and have web like impacts throughout the body. More often than not, much of this discomfort can be avoided by simply being aware of my jaw and remembering to breathe and let my jaw relax. As you enter in to the Holiday Season and New Year be aware of your body’s communication system. Best wishes to all and happy bodies all around!

November, 2018

Yesterday my neighbor’s stout chihuahua mix bit my right hand. He was walking her towards me and she came up to me so I put the back of my hand near her and she took a couple of effective chomps out of my knuckle. As I normally do in situations like this, I sucked it up (not recommended) and said that I would be fine but when my hand started to bleed, I had to excuse myself from the conversation and take care of my wound. I did all the stuff you do for a dog bite and my hand has recovered in 24 hours to mostly a bruise and a small break of the skin.

My neighbor and his wife came by yesterday a few hours after the incident and we talked game plan if the wound got worse over the course of the evening. I was touched by their sincerity, concern and offer to take care of whatever I needed. And the wildest part of the whole experience was watching the bite go through swelling, calming down then swelling again. Dog bites that are aggressive have a huge energy behind them. I did a fair amount of P-DTR on myself as well as energy work. Plus, the emotions triggered from being bitten were crazy primal and lacked any kind of connection to logic. What was especially cool about this experience was observing my hand respond to my emotional state. I was shown again the depth of the connection our entire being has on itself; whether it’s emotions and body, thinking and body, spiritual practice and body, the body doesn’t miss a beat. We live in some pretty incredible structures that carry a lot of information. I never cease to be impressed.

August, 2018

Wow! The month of August has come and gone so quickly this year. One of the themes I have noticed this month in my practice is the body’s response to transition. Towards the middle to end of August almost everyone in my practice is transitioning in some way. Whether it’s the simple movement towards autumn, going back to work after spending time with family/friends or just reassessing what the next year will hold, everyone has something that they are transitioning into this time of year. And what I’ve noticed in the body is huge leaps forward in healing and/or recurrence of old injuries, aches/pains. Our bodies are such great record keepers of what we are walking through in our lives. They keep us on track with an incredibly intricate and intimate relationship with our minds. In my own experience, I have taken another deep dive into P-DTR® (Proprioceptive Deep Tendon Reflex). After two 4-day weekends of 64 hours of material, my brain feels like it is oozing out of my ears. Even though I thoroughly enjoy the information and find it completely fascinating, it takes some time for my mind and body to fully digest what I’ve learned. And each time I learn something new, there is a transition phase; where I enter into my practice with a refreshed perspective on how I see my client’s conditions and the best tack for treating them. As much as I enjoy this perspective shift, it can also be a bit disorienting. I’m in the process of expanding my view to include what I see under the lens of the new information I’ve learned. I can feel my body hold tension with this shift. And I am being asked by my body to move slowly with the new perspective so the tension does not become solid, rather it is more of a navigational tool on how to move forward. I know I probably sound like a broken record but I have to say it again, the human body is amazing!

July, 2018

Those of you who have seen me for treatment more than a few times know I have a serious bias against surgery. Conversely, I have a serious faith in the body’s ability to heal itself if given the correct input and care. In a few months I’m electing for surgery. It’s not a big deal but it is something I have put off for 25 years and I have recently decided is something I need to do. I discovered a small lipoma on my ribcage (benign fatty tumor) around the size of walnut in my twenties. When I asked my GP about it he said, “Well, I can refer you to a plastic surgeon to have it removed or you can just wait until it gets big enough to carry around in a backpack and then have it removed.” At 25, I was even more hypervigilant about surgery than I am now so I opted to see how things would progress. Well, they have progressed alright. With hormonal changes and my body’s need to hold onto more fat, the lipoma is at an uncomfortable size and I’ve decided I need to soften my opinions (once again). It turns out the things I’ve held most dear about the body are sometimes true but not 100% just like everything else in life. Now that my cognitive understanding is being lived out in my body, I have to adjust my entire nervous system’s response to being invaded by a scalpel, being helped by very sharp, precise, instrument to remove what I know will be problematic if I let it go. So, all of this is to say, the body is my best teacher for how to go with the flow, be exceptionally caring, and avoid getting too bogged down in thinking something is one way or the other. Everything has its place and the body is such a magnificent example of that concept.