February, 2025

What I Am Noticing

I watched myself get overtaken by the daily (distraction) events in this nation during the past month. As I attempted to keep pace, stop watching, remove myself from the onslaught of the salacious news reel, I fell ill the last week of the month forcing a necessary purge. Any time illness becomes part of my experinece, I tend towards self doubt, self blame and the like. When I can blame myself for whatever I am certain that I did wrong, I feel like I have some control. Truth is, my body needed to let go and let down and it found a way to do it. I require myself to show up for my job clear, healthy, present. I had no access to any of this for over a week. I watched myself argue with my own expectations of what I should be able to do and what I was able to do. As my body began to return to a more healthy state, I noticed something in my mind had shifted. Not for the better or worse, just a shift. I don't know what that shift is but I don't feel like the same person I was and I don't know who I am moving forward...yet.

Where We Are Headed Collectively

As the collective attempts to manage the ongoing event stream, underneath the superficial stormy waters is a deep reconsideration of everything we have believed is true. It's like a deep questioning of reality from the foundation, the very structure that we have all agreed to as real. It's a searching for new reference points as our very own national history is being questioned. This is not a bad thing, it is a necessary part of human life. When we have the space/tolerance for question, true connection is possible. There really is no true living of this life without the space for question. That is the openness that question offers. Answers come and go but questions will always be. This is what the collective is navigating mostly without knowing it.